Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The best revenge is premature balding
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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