Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
