drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
