I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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