That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
