So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
