yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
