It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
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It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
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I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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