NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
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I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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