ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
