Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
