Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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