She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
