in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
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