Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Help. Why am I so naked?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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