arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Ketchup is God's man juice
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
