Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
