thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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