Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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