I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
