For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
