i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
