i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
