Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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