Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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