yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
