just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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