Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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