One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
