1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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