Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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