i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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