We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
