Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
