Tell her she can't have a vagina
Soap is not a condiment
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
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