guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
