Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Are we still banned from the library?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
