oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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