just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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