That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
