Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
