Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
