should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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