Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
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I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
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My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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