Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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