I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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