two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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