If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
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