why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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