I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
