Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
