One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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