Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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