I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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