We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
