I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
