her vagine was all disorganized.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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