you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
