I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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