Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Actions speak louder than pants.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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