Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
