I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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