Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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